User avatar

paintingtherain97

  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Oh Tree, Little Tree

    This is kind of a rhymey cutesy poem. I'm not great with poetry, but I think it depends on what you were going for as to how good the poem ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: This One Time at Band Camp

    This one time at band camp, a very evil feline had it out to get me. I'll start from the beginning. The first time I met Mr. Whiskers was at ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Pink Tassels; 150 words

    Grammatically, there were only slight comma and hyphenation problems that you could probably find if you looked hard enough and then fix them. As for the important stuff, this story ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Office Beauty (150 words)

    Other than slight grammatical errors, this is great. It preaches feminism in the workplace, instead of the ordinary objectification of women. I love it.

    Aug 6, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The playground is burning

    This was vivid to the point of being frightening. I like the way that there are two different stories going on,but there should be a little more connection with the ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • Lyrics Re: Silhouette

    I thought that it was a bit cliche, an old caught-in-your-own-world love story, but the rhyme scheme and overall format is good. Aside from the subject matter, I thought it ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The Mocking Voice

    This is moving. It shows how every sentence a person utters can shape another person's reality. One person talking about another can move people to do anything, even suicide. The ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: The Splitting Ground

    I see but do not feel until my dad trudges off to his new house, to his new family, to his new life. Then it comes, in a rush of ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: A Collection of my Poems

    The first poem,I thought,was easy to relate to but didn't flow very well. Maybe you could break the first few lines in half so there aren't somany syllables. The second ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • General Articles Re: Aimless

    This essay is relatable and well-put. I'm hoping to end up an author, but I've wondered for hours and hours about these things before. Whether or not you want to ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Mind Games

    I think it's a bit simple, but the words are choppy and neat. The message is easy to understand and relate to and, overall, this is a good poem. It ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • Other Poetry Re: Music and misery

    This is great. It flows well and creates a picture. It took mea few times reading it to understand it, but that happens with all good poetry. The emotion is ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • General Articles Re: Game change: to change people or environment?

    This is accurate and good but kind of dry. I realize economics are dry and difficult to make exciting, but maybe you could try tospice it up using business metaphors. ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • Other Re: Deliver Us From Evil

    I thought that this was really pure and full of emotion. I know I sound like a jerk to say it, but the tenses were slightly inconsistent. As for the ...

    Aug 6, 2011
  • Welcome Mat Re: Welcome New Members! [2]

    So I don't understand this yet. What's all the stuff on this website? What are points and badges and everything? I just joined but I'm excited. I love to write. ...

    Aug 6, 2011


Don't sit down and write because you're a writer; sit down and write because you have something to say. And if the sea of ideas isn't flowing, well, just tell me about your day.
— OrabellaAvenue