paintingtherain97

1. Bailey Musso Sometimes I wonder at a flash of lighting and rumble of thunder, why the sky is fighting? What makes is shake with angst and passion? What makes ...

This is so good. I like the use of sort of old language, and the dramatic, suspenseful mood.The figuarative language added to the drama, using a lion as a symbol ...

This is great. I like the metaphoric language, like when you said that you are a phoenix, although you spelled phoenix wrong I think. It's a good comparison, symbolizing revirth ...

Holy crap! This is, like, professional-style writing that not a lot of young people can do. You were really vivid and creative in your desriptions, and the meaning seemed really ...

When I read the title, I thought, "Oh, God, another depressing suicidal poem." But it wasn't like that. It's good. I love the way you started each stanza with the ...

This is good. I liked the little touches of foreign languages that made it seem sophisticated, and I'm sorry, but I laughed at the end when you said he was ...

This is good, but I think I have a few tips to make it better. The syllabic balance is good, and the voice of the narrator seems genuine, although I ...

I like this a lot! Keep it up. Good rhyme scheme, maybe try to balance syllabic content. Keep writing.

September 11, 2001 Little Millie Pedersen waddled along, chubby fingers intertwined with her older brother, Sammy's. Sammy was big and strong, already twelve years old, so she felt safe with ...

Thanks :)

She carries with her a constant companion, a friend and a foe who will never part: the incessant bite of unslaked hunger. She knows how it works, that skinny girls ...

This is good, aside from a few little things. Check your punctauation. Some of the sentences were broken into two lines by a period, when it should be a comma, ...

This is really good. The lines rhyme and flow well, with balanced syllabic content, and I don't see anything grammatically wrong; I think that the overall format is good. Also, ...

This is good, melodramatic in a good way. It was, however, a bit confusing. I can't tell if this is about a death that is so long and painful that ...

This is really awesome. I've thought about writing a poem with this message, but I couldn't figure out how to word it. You pulled it off perfectly, with your ending. ...