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Thank you for the critics everyone. I'll try to cut down on all the junk I have in there. That's one of my major problems. The hymnal thing, however, was ...

THis is a pretty good beginning. Explaining things more a bit here would be good, but I think it would be really cool if you sort of explained things as ...

This was pretty good. I expected something really dark and depressing (you know, the garden variety sad poem). You did a really good job of staying away from that though. ...

I wrote this a while ago when i was frustrated with people doing stupid things in my school. Rejoice, rejoice, we are rising so rejoice. Rejoice parents, Let your wrinkled ...

Unless there is a reason you're not using any punctuation marks, I suggest you use those in order to show certain ideas. I couldn't get a feel for the rhythm; ...

This is a pretty good prologue. It draws the reader in and everything but there are times in this prologue where you are telling rather than showing. Like when the ...

Royale Ares cast cold his glance on the barren field upon which a bloodless battle had begun. Hoards of listless pawns threw themselves at the opponents barrier while a stainless ...

Our creative writing teacher, for the first day of school, is having us do a found poem using our full names. (we can only use words we can make with ...

Conception A feeble stream of obsidian smoke rose from the decrepit body of the wheezing creature. Its oversized eyes sagged into its gnarled skull. The diminutive creature convulsed in its ...

This is a good starting point for a story. The only thing I would recommend would be to check your spelling (I especially noticed the spelling of "later" as "latter") ...

This is a good poem. I would, however, change the line that relates to the out of sight saying though because as I was reading I felt how original this ...

Wow, this is a nice poem. Other than getting rid of the conjunctions that other people suggested that you do I have nothing really to say about it. It's deep ...

Rather than turning this into a comedy I think you should turn her into a character who is trying to con the people she has been working with for some ...

Wow, this is a good poem. The only line I would change would be "warm and pure and radiant" to "warm, pure, and radiant" It just seems to flow better.

Parents Vigilant sentinels with their eyes out for danger, And ignorant sages that overflow with wisdom, This is what they’re supposed to be, But not what they desire. Suffocating guardians ...