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  • Historical Fiction Short Stories Re: I Want

    Thank you for the critiques. To answer your question, this wasn't part of a longer story. I was going for plot driven, but I'll try to add some background about ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: Hell

    Your words mostly flow well, but, if you are writing for publication and not yourself, you should watch some of the cliches like "light at the end of the tunnel." ...

    Nov 29, 2008
  • Historical Fiction Short Stories Re: I Want

    I Want “I want to be a genius.” The boy dropped his small red truck onto the floor. He turned his eyes to the old man in the door way ...

    Nov 29, 2008
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Holmes

    Thank you for the comments. Eimear- This poem was basically about Sherlock Holmes encountering a mystery that he could not solve using reason and evidence so he is forced to ...

    May 16, 2008
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Holmes

    Holme’s Last Resort I couldn’t help but smile at the sight, for what a sight it was. His twitching eyes his bulging veins. Sherlock Holmes, champion of reason, master of ...

    May 11, 2008
  • General Articles Re: The Penultimate Death

    Thank you for the critique. I'll try to put them in a place, perhaps in school during a break or something like that. One of my weaknesses has always been ...

    Jan 29, 2008
  • General Articles Re: Psychic Vampires

    This is a very good article. I used to do metaphysical stuff myself but then I started doing other things and those things took up the extra time. I would ...

    Jan 29, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Don't Panic

    Wow, this is awesome. I really can't think of anything that needs fixing. I've been going around and trying to repay everyone that has critiqued my work but this was ...

    Jan 7, 2008
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Fearless

    This is a good poem. You use repetition well (I have trouble with that sometimes as you've already seen) and you are able to use the structure of your poem ...

    Jan 7, 2008
  • Science-Fiction Novels Re: The Greater Good

    This is a really good story. The part about the drug called Paranoia is pretty good too. The only thing I would suggest is, since your are setting this in ...

    Jan 7, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: Columbia: A Tribute to the District

    Wow, I was trying to critique one of your things as repayment for you critiquing one of mine but this is really good. I'll try with the next poem you ...

    Jan 7, 2008
  • Fantasy Novels Re: Working Title: .... uh, I dont have one

    This is really good. My only recommendation would be to get rid of some of the to be verbs you have in there so that the poem flows more smoothly.

    Jan 7, 2008
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Affliction

    This is a mock epic we did in creative writing. Please critique honestly. Thank you. A pale pen hovered in the air, Tempting it’s bearer with a dare. A dare ...

    Jan 7, 2008
  • General Articles Re: beauty

    As has already been said before, you should have paragraphs. Other that that, however, I think you should try to organize your thoughts better. Perhaps go into a bit more ...

    Jan 7, 2008
  • General Articles Re: The Penultimate Death

    This is a very embellished personal narrative I wrote for creative writing. Please critic (don't hold back). Thank you. I stare in disbelief as people speak of their deaths. They ...

    Jan 7, 2008


i don't want to pass up an opportunity to be authentic for the opportunity to be profound
— soundofmind