oneeyedunicornhunter

hmm. i think one word describes this best: wow. imagery:9.25 rythm:8 emotion:9.75 overall:9 great job!

ha! pretty good. it made me laugh, at least. i don't call it writer's block, though. i call it 'periods of absolutely no inspiration whatsoever'. because it's such a long ...

that was a really cool idea, good job! i had to read the last paragraph twice. If you rewrote it, that would pretty much take care everything I thought could ...

yeah this is good, and nb138 pretty much covered all the grammar. the second verse or stanza (or whatever :P ) was my facorite. it flowed better than the other ...

that was intentional...you have to read it as 'peaces' and as 'pieces' i don't know why, but i like doing that in my poems :roll:

hmm...you definitely have some interesting things to say. you just need to work on how you say it. alright, you asked for help, so ima give it to you. :D ...

past tense, all the way. when in first person, it's okay for the narrator to give comments in present tense(for example: I think Bob was trying to say ..., as ...

i wasn't sure if this belongs in any of the other categories, so i just threw it in here. the theme of this poem is: War. Far beyond the edge ...

you're is pretty self-absorbed. i wrote it for her, initially. and I know my rythm wasn't the best, but I think it's getting better. when i said 'love as clear ...

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wow! really good poem, especially loved the ending. this bothered me the most: "Standing up now, our hands intertwined, the sun blinding us to everything around us." instead of saying ...

gadi was right about the stanza he pointed out. that was the main thing i think you should change. i don't think the rhetorical questions were bad, but i will ...

hmmm yep yep that murder definitely sounds like a vampire! :o EDIT: yeah, i didn't actually say much there...i'm afraid mummy wouldn't let me stay up too long, so i ...

well, i can certainly relate to wanting to kill loved ones once in a while :roll: not bad, but not really my style. i found it kind of dry at ...

wow, this is your real life? two words: that sucks. still, i have to say, it's a good story. you may even want to consider publishing. did i mention that ...