onceuponatim3xo

Thanks :D The Empire is an entire country, possibly world, I'm not sure yet. It's very large though. :D Umm, there are different types of areas; suburban, rural, and big ...

Kaliber: Good, I was worried that it didn't seem like they were friends. Saint Razorblade: Oh, thank you for that tip, I'll have to fix those. mikedb1492: Thanks, I'll have ...

Darn, Rubric beat me to it! All right, that just leaves me to compliment you since he pointed everything out already. This. was. Excellent! Much, much better than the last ...

Wow!! :shock: This was REALLY good!!! I loved it! Although, I think that you should put an adjective in front of when you say "The wall" (so that you explain ...

Umm.... Sorry, but seeing that huge block of writing scared me away, do you think that you could put spaces in between each paragraph, you just press enter twice. Like ...

:D thank you, I did think that it seemed a little fast paced, but I wasn't sure what to do. I'll have to fix that. How do you think that ...

Oh! thank you very much!! The thing about the name was that I thought it'd be good to have a guard character later on, but I'm not sure if I ...

This was good, although there were a few things I'd like to point out. Chase was working in the fields when the bell for dinner was by his little sister, ...

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a farm

oh...... I get it now! Thank you!

Pickle810 is right, your sentece structure seems weak. It's like your demanding these facts into us -like a teacher (and nobody likes getting a lecture from a teacher :lol: ) ...

8/10, is that a song?

9/10 haha