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The last two warriors gazed at what they had done The bodies lie on the grass as numerous as the green blades themselves The dying weapons bore flecks of maroon ...

It's a good piece, but I don't know how to help you with your ending. The only thing that I can suggest is to take out the last two lines. ...

It sort of confused me ... but, then again, maybe I was destracted, or something. Is the character who's speaking the person that Jeremy and the character's parents parents are ...

The tripod isn't like a huge video camera tripod . . . it's like . . . eight inches off the ground, tops. Just something to hold the weapon up, ...

K I'll be sure to do dat

Uh, yeah, that'd be awesome if someone would crit my last entry to the action\adventure fantasy section. It's like, four of five pragraphs long, and it's been there since the ...

Pretty interesting. What happened to Kila, the mother, after the baby was born? Did she disappear from the magic or something, or did she just die? In the eighth paragraph, ...

I've got a feeling that most of the people here that hate him don't truly understand him. I haven't read any of his work, but most people hate what they ...

I don't know if I'm still new or not , but I have't had a tunic since Nate changed the format of choosing the options for your avatar. But my ...

Not bad. There are a few places where a comma could be used. And at some point in the chapter, you said "matter-of-fact", instead of "matter-of-fact ly ." There were ...

Good song, and i'm pretty sure it's spelt morpheine. I'm pretty sure it's spelled " spelled"

THE MARS VOLTA IS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!! I haven't heard much of Francis , but Deloused in the Comatorium is AMAZING. It's about a man who falls into a coma, and ...

It's an interesting story. Very creative and original, although I don't know what emma is talking about with the plot. The actual writing was rather . . . plain, though. ...

I'm drinkin' black coffee. That's right! At 12:20 in the morning on a school night ... Wow I am so cool ... just kiddin' ... but I am drinkin' black ...

Pretty cool. I think you need to put in an adjective describing the angel, just for rythmic purposes, in the next to last line. You need some sort of filler ...