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Re: This Pen is Retired
I like this. It makes me think of an old grey man who has had a prolific writing career and is now a washed up, sickly hermit. However, I would ...
Feb 25, 2009 -
Re: Holy Rolling (2)
I feel humbled giving you any criticism. I love the mood of this piece. The descriptions are just amazing. Personally, I love fragments and I like your use of them. ...
Feb 23, 2009 -
Re: Naked in the City
Here's what I thought when I read this piece: "He sure says 'eleven-year-olds' a lot. Is this a flashback?" I got the feeling that the speaker was looking back on ...
Feb 21, 2009 -
Re: Jordan Baker
I hate having hair in my face. But what I hate more is the way I look without bangs. So I tough it out. Whenever I get my bangs cut, ...
Feb 21, 2009 -
Re: Hate Me
I like it. Ironic and makes me feel a bit annoyed. But in a good way. Not much to say, but here's what I've got: Hate me, hate me, and ...
Feb 21, 2009 -
Re: battered bob dylan wanna-be
I love this. It's effortless. The reader can feel himself transformed into the setting you create. I can feel the concrete under my feet and hear the hum of the ...
Feb 15, 2009 -
Re: The User Below You...
Unfortunately, no. But I have come close. I've always wanted to know how that works. The person below me hates thinking about the insides of bodies.
Feb 7, 2009 -
Re: The User Below You...
Wrong. I'm Mormon. The person below me would rather be a hunter-gatherer.
Feb 2, 2009 -
Re: Because - Chap. 27
“No,” I answered. “Most of the dreams are different. They’re all on the same night, but he never says the same things, or does the same things. I only see ...
Jan 25, 2009 -
Re: Fairytale
I think darko was unnecessarily harsh. This has real potential! Hand in his Warm, damp, and firm. Fingers curl. I don't understand this "fingers curl" line. It sounds like they ...
Jan 17, 2009 -
Re: Waiting to Bloom
I read this yesterday, but I think I was only half paying attention. This is great! Really original and interesting and has a great voice. And once you know how ...
Jan 17, 2009 -
Re: Abandoned
Is this right? When I read about what the wind was doing to the room, I imagined it was mirroring what was happening to the old man fishing. Did he ...
Jan 17, 2009 -
Re: "Do you feel as good as you put on?"
I like this poem. It makes me feel very sad. I just see a girl a girl A girl who's eyes are vacant of everything but sadness You can see ...
Jan 16, 2009 -
Re: Cold
At first I just thought this was like To Build a Fire like Jack London, which I hate. But the more I read it, the more I liked it. I ...
Jan 16, 2009 -
Re: Courage
This might sound harsh, but only because I think it has potential. Renee woke up with sweat over her. That’s damn nightmare she thought as she toss the covers away ...
Jan 16, 2009
