ninja-Z

actually i use all of the above except crayons. i like keyboard the best, though.

sorry my computer went berserk on me and erased my comments, but most of them werent too important. :( anyway, I LOVED this chapter, you just keep getting better! lookin ...

whats a T-Board? and if the skateboard hovers, that means it a hoverboard, right, like in back to the future part 2? well, sounds cool. Squall sighed and went in, ...

szerbusz(thats hi in hungarian). yes this sites pretty *crosses out* very cool 8) .

wow that just shows how diverse this site is..i am only 12 and love manga/anime, star wars. i write action adventure or fanfiction. i go on the chat occasionally. i ...

:D i agree with everyone else. this book your stories are the definition of the words character developement. cant wait to read more.... great job!

well...okay. youve STILL got mixed up tenses...but you probably already know that... :wink: Let’s hope for a prospective future. umm im not sure but i think that prospective should be ...

you still need to fix the past and present tenses...-_-........ When they got half way across the bridge the robot jumped and landed in front of them, blocking their path. ...

ok it looks like a difficult plot to have but i hope it turns out well!!and stuff_ timea already got the mistakes, so nice Z_

:) sounds pretty good makes me want to read it badly!!!! :D

oh I forgot to mention....i noticed that you used the names biggs and wedge....these are names from star wars. do you like star wars? I love it.

The boat smashed through the stonewall that outlines the harbour. this was among many many mistakes that have to do with tenses. you can't switch between present and past tense ...

:D it was okay, but I agree with sumi. I hope you improve, but it was interesting. :)

Yes, he was fond her; could he even be in love with her? this was your only mistake. you could have been a little more original with her moves, and ...

i noticed you have a problem switching tenses : It would all work out in the end so he has nothing to worry about. perhaps it's just a typo, but ...