nickelodeon

It was an interesting story. However, it leaves me with the following questions: The whole middle paragraph, (describing the sweets and water cooler, etc.) left me a little bit puzzled. ...

Oooo! I forgot to mention! I'm pretty sure Lucile is usually spelled Lucille with 2 L's. Obviously it doesn't matter, but i thought i'd enlighten you if you didn't already ...

It was intriguing. (hahaha i love that word!) Seriously, though, it did catch my attention and made me want to continue reading. Suggestions: In the first line, consider using hyphens ...

Deep blackness consuming, Eyelids glued down Slip under my covers Slowly, so not to disturb Creatures that thrive in a six year old's mind Faintly breathing Courage sought out Eyes ...

Ok, well i happened to like it a lot. It's kind of realistic. There's not much to a rabbit's life. He runs, he dies, he's gone. I thought it flowed ...

I'm don't really care for "On the road by the swampy toads." To me, it seems like you just added the swampy toad part to make it rhyme. In the ...

I really like it. It flows very nicely, and i like how it has a pattern of repeating "The same way you ____ me" "Make her giggle" and "Caress her" ...

Nice story overall. You picked a very appropriate title. It caught my interest and surprised me; it certainly wasn't what i was expecting. Question: Can a person have fuzzy lips? ...

Propped up cross-legged in front of the family computer, I was having a schizophrenic argument. A nagging, practical piece of me insisted that I was hurting people: Chelsea, Katie, the ...

I liked it. Especially the line: "countless years of erosion took place in two seconds." I'm not sure why i like it. I just do. It's pretty good as is. ...

Dragons are beastly.

My knees were cramping as I crouched behind the knee high brick border. I looked with admiration as Katie marched towards the towering figure of Matt Faron, head high, and ...

Original idea. I love her name. You say everything very bluntly. Maybe you could try to show what's going on better. Ease the reader into whatever's going on. It had ...

If I didn’t foster such contempt for cheerleaders as a whole, I might have actually felt sorry for Jenny in the weeks following the publication. My nagging conscience incessantly reminded ...

Thanks for the suggestions. If you read the first part (It's titled the same thing) then it makes more sense. She's writing an article for the school paper.