nate.b

This is great, but I have just a few little suggestions. [/quote] Do you remember when the birds they You don’t need ‘they’ in this line. It’s grammatically incorrect. [/quote] ...

This is good, but it reads more like a song than a poem. Perhaps if you added more unique imagery and avoid using clichés then this piece would shape into ...

A beautiful poem. I disagree with the comment above. I don't think this is too short. The piece symbolises the length, or shortness, of those children's lives. I too think ...

Cheers Dallas. I appreciate your comment. To answer your question- no, I am not afraid. My faith is very important to me, more important than what people may say about ...

Hi, sorry for the late reply. Thank you for the advice, I will remember what you've said and I will make changes to my poem. I will not be posting ...

Yes, this is good. I really like 'and my heart is too broken for you to mend.' However, the poem is too predictable. It gives too much away. I think ...

Hey La Reina! Thanks for the info and the welcome! :D I don't use 'snogging' often, just when appropriate :P However, 'bloke' is definitely a part of my daily vocabulary; ...

Hey Kat. No, I don't think I heard of them (except William Shakespeare of course), but I sure will look them up on the net. Thanks again.

Hey MySunshine! Thanks for your comment. It's nice to get such a warm welcome to the YWS community :D Yes, it is far too rainy here. It's very tiring for ...

Sorry about the T- just changed it ;D 'I bought the chain with my eyes' doesn't mean exchanging eyes for the chain. It's a metaphor. When you desire material things ...

She'ol is another name for Hades, and both represent the 'cemetery' of mankind, or DEATH to be more precise. The constant war is not between two 'people', it's between a ...

I'm not sure about the missing apostrophes. Here I'm using the number 2. One ARM, Two ARMS. I think that in this case the apostrophe is unnecessary. It wouldn't fit ...

I really like this. If this is not your usual style of writing then don't worry! It's a lovely read. The imagery is brilliant and the lines fit together like ...

Now this is a very interesting poem. I love the structure; it looks like a descending mist. The structure alone sets the mood and the tone of the poem is ...

A wonderful piece of poetry. I can't quite believe that this is your first poem! I love the stretching structure of this poem and the rhyme scheme is brilliant. It's ...