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Re: life and all its random glory chapt 3 so far!
I love this! The characters are getting better and better!! I can completely understand Haley's point of view. It sounds like a morning in my house, only without the brother. ...
Sep 26, 2008 -
Re: A Degraded Angel
wow, i move the last line! it really rounds up the poem! okay, dont worry, that wasnt the only thing I like about this. I loved the whole idea of ...
Sep 26, 2008 -
Re: Weeping Willow, Chapter 1, Part 1
lol, its a different name. and I accidentally put Ash. Ill change it. lol. thank you.
Sep 26, 2008 -
Re: Love Is Abandoned
The stars listen as I call your name. You never answer. The moon prays you will find me here. you never do. The morning hides whilst I wait for you. ...
Sep 26, 2008 -
Re: Weeping Willow, Chapter 1, Part 1
This is only the first few lines but I just wanted to see what you all thought of it... I entered the cafeteria to find nothing had changed. My small ...
Sep 26, 2008 -
Re: Memos of Bleeding Hearts
Wow! This is a really strange way of setting out a story but I really enjoyed reading it. I think that, if you wanted to, you could easily extend this ...
Sep 23, 2008 -
Re: A Most Dismal Prospect
I thought this was a really good beginning to a story. It invites many questions and opens up many interesting twists and opportunities. Good Luck with it!!
Sep 23, 2008 -
Re: You
I thought this poem was amazing! It held so much feeling and passion. Like the first comment, I love the last two lines. They really rounded it up and held ...
Sep 23, 2008 -
Re: I never told you I loved you
wow! This poem has a really dramatic and well written voice about it. In general, I'm going to agree with the other comments. I agree that the ending seemed a ...
Sep 23, 2008 -
Re: War (Ask Me No Questions)
I really enjoyed this poem, it held a great amount of feeling and imagery, something very important when writng poetry. The one thing I will say is that I feel ...
Sep 23, 2008 -
Re: Fickle Promises...
I could really feel the anger and distress in this poem. It worked really well. The simplicity of the style seemed to make this even more obvious. I liked the ...
Sep 22, 2008 -
Re: Moments
I really enjoyed this poem. I admit I didn't feel as much of the emotion as I had hoped, though I still understood the feeling the poem gave out. I ...
Sep 22, 2008 -
Re: Summer's Last Breath
thanks for all the tips guys. I really appreciate it. i shall get to work on it as soon as possible.
Sep 22, 2008 -
Re: random beginning of a story here
hi Lozzen! I really enjoyed this first paragraph. The description was beautiful, and I could picture everything you wrote. I though the repetition worked well. In the next part, which ...
Sep 21, 2008 -
Re: fall away.
I thought this poem was really meaningful and deep. I think a bit of punctuation could add to it, though I am unable to say where, so maybe it wouldn't. ...
Sep 21, 2008
