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Re: Hidden Wars~ I think this is the name I want. Maybe.
Hi! I'm Narniafreak! I hope my comments help! Third paragraph [[the long one]] could be split up into smaller paragraphs so readers don’t have to feel overwhelmed reading it. Also, ...
Dec 22, 2009 -
Re: Children of Tokua. Chapter 1. Part 2.
Hi! Okay, this was pretty good. I just don’t really know who these people are, I mean I guess they are against the three girls from the beginning. Also, the ...
Dec 12, 2009 -
Re: Deleted-ignore it
Hi! I’m Narniafreak! Interesting beginning. It definitely caught my attention, and left me with questions of what Harlequin Park is all about. Good Job! Okay first instead of using apostrophes ...
Dec 8, 2009 -
Re: Children of Tokua. Chapter 1. Part 1. (Feedback Appreciated)
HI! I'm Narnifreak! I just wanted to say Wow! That was really good. I really liked it and it kept me reading... =] How did Chrisa shoot hundreds of feet ...
Dec 6, 2009 -
Re: Blood Soaked Snow {Chapter Three}
Hi! I'm back again! Very good once more! Would they take her to Barbslo? I gritted my teeth. This is the thanks I get for taking care of her kids? ...
Dec 6, 2009 -
Re: A sleigh ride with St. Nicholas
Hi! I'm Narniafreak! Cute Story! =] “Santa,” she whispered. Santa whipped around and his mouth mocked Deseries. Alright, since Deseries says "Santa" her mouth isn't in an "O" shape which ...
Dec 3, 2009 -
Re: Teddy bear in Ground Zero-edited version
Wow! I really liked it. It kept me guessing on what she was going to do and stuff. Anyways I'm Narniafreak! It was the eve of the October fall Okay ...
Dec 2, 2009 -
Re: Ruzulia: or the 5 Kingdoms and their Conflicts
Hi! I'm Narniafreak! I hope my reviews help! through the iron air. Bringing shudders to those awaiting death You might want to change the period after "air" to a semi-colon, ...
Nov 30, 2009 -
Re: The Messengers: 1st Chapter
Hi! I'm Narniafreak! I really liked this and hope to read more later. I shimmy into the old, gray hoodie that’s only half way on Alright, I don't think "shimmy" ...
Nov 30, 2009 -
Re: The Nerve
Wow! Okay that ending took my breath away and I seriously stared at the computer screen gaping. Good job! The action with him running from the fire kept me reading ...
Nov 30, 2009 -
Re: Blood Soaked Snow {Chapter Two}
Hi! I'm back! Hope this helps too! Sure, Mrs. Smith…Just let me finish my harvesting time "just" doesn't need to be capitalized since it's still part of the sentence with ...
Nov 30, 2009 -
Re: Blood Soaked Snow {Chapter One}
HI! I'm Narniafreak! I hope my reviews help and not confuse you more! First, for no one walked down these roads anymore I think "these" need to be changed to ...
Nov 30, 2009 -
Re: When life gives you lemons... (a philosophy challenge)
why do what you can finish tomorrow? except today was yesterday's tomorrow. "I believe in God, like I believe in the sun, not because I can see it but because ...
Oct 11, 2009 -
Re: funny words
squishy onomatopoeia prone zip poop
Oct 11, 2009 -
Re: Hello, my name is...
Hi, my name is Igneous [[yes I named myself]] and I was created to be the perfect killer.
Oct 11, 2009