napalmerski

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Hey, an exellent little story. Really, once proofread and stuff, it'd be totally on a 'published in a collection' level. I've read stories like this - cool super-fast sci-fi - ...

Right you are Mad Moo, I'll change the rating haha. Merlin, come the revolution I will personally oversee the lining up against the wall of people who think that all ...

Well, it's a cosy grey autumn late afternoon where I am, I have a day off from everything and my brainski is in slo-mo gear. Hence I really couldn't cope ...

Yo, I downloaded this and will try to absorb it one of the coming days. By the way, judging from the intro and chapter one, I already can reccomend that ...

Most of the confidences were unsought--frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the ...

Yes, right, these should definitely be seen as advice, not rules:) For example everything inside me cries that the correct way to write is the opposite of what Elmore Leonard ...

Over here: Here's two to start you off: ELMORE LEONARD 1 Never open a book with weather. If it's only to create atmosphere, and not a charac­ter's reaction to the ...

Yo, the voice of your character rang totally true. His narrative is structured they way he chooses to and he sees himself the way he chooses to. The atmosphere is ...

...the rest of book 2 It was a circular chamber with a pointed ceiling that rose so high it vanished into gloom. The only light issued from basketball-sized spheres that ...

YWS has been incredibly helpful in my case. Paragraphs, grammar and feedback. And of course, I don't try to please everyone by editing my stuff according to their advice, but ...

Review up to chapter 10. The rest - on Sunday I think Yo Bickazer, here I go, finally reading this second part carefully. Just to say, that I still try ...

Good feedback Aspiring, thanx. I really have to scatter some more biomass around the planet to make it more convincing. And to go over once more with the 'internal logic ...

Hey Ofir, thanx for the constructive feedback. I definitely have to add more 'it's just a dream' stuff! I'm not sure about inflating the plot though, it was conceived as ...

Thanx for the boost ladymask - I hope the list worked for you :smt003