napalmerski

Yo, I read this first chapter, and there was something in the general atmosphere, which made me think of the golden age masters. Clarke? - I asked myself. Noooo. Heinlein? ...

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Yo, a very nice classical romance fantasy begining. And was that evil stepmother appearing there for a second? Hehe. At times the the dialogue is a bit wooden, but that ...

Yo, First: very nice details of everyday life. Not the potatoes falling - that was a little cliche, no offence; but noticing how her mom starts fussing when her guests ...

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I personaly love a good short story, or 'flash fiction'. Arthur Clarke and Ray Bradbury and many more of the old titans have writte very good super short stories. Speaking ...

Yo, this story has nice linear plot so far, nothing confusing, and hints of a world, which it would be fun to find out more about. Only one thing really ...

Yo! This was a charming first chapter. I notice from the inner dialogues of the heroine, that either your target group is contemporary high school girls, or the contemporary high ...

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Hihi, what can I say? I've never liked this style of fantasy, and felt seriously repulsed when reading some pages of Stephanie Mayer's stuff, but although I am not a ...

Yo! I only saw two really awkward sentences in the whole text. The first one was alreayd comented upon, the second one is this: Rainer knew what she was thinking: ...

Yo, When Ijoined this site about a month ago, the first very important thing I learned, from the reviews (thax everyone!) is the 50 should be 'fifty', 12 should be ...

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Yo Dubaian, thank you for the detailed feedback, concerning wording and paragraphs. And the wordcount - I had complitely missed the point with the story being too big. Perhaps it ...

Yo, I've never read the Hunger Games, but I have seen Logan's Run... haha What I've read is quite fine, just a few minor things: 1. Did they really play ...