napalmerski

Yo, well, I'm back in town, and back online. And I'm taking this baby down to start polishing it. Thanks for the good words Ten Yo, I hope by now ...

Yo, you should really write about three-four times that much before awaiting meaningful feedback:) Story invention and presentation is to an extent about grammar and punctuation, but is mainly about ...

Yo, I don't do grammar and punctuation, because I myself seem stuck on the level of a ten year old, and I don't discuss plots as a matter of principle. ...

ok man, good luck with the exam!

Thanx Krupp, hey I didn't mean it to sound like some deadline or something, 9th is when I'll take the text down, but of course I'll periodically check out ths ...

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Here it is -

Krupp, Bickazer, thank you both for your to the point advice and opinion. This is so rare haha. More Socrates, more Pisme, more deliberating before jumping to conclusions, more dialogues, ...

Yo, nice poetic story. Kinda like an adolescent Bradbury. How, then, would it be for the child of this household? She walked on eggshells, sharply aware of the fragility of ...

Wow this is a serious piece of work, I only had the time to make it to chapter three :D Your thoughts seem to flow without interruption, many established and ...

Hehe,nice humor in the story. Charged with adolescent eroticism, the text, nothing wrong with that, very cute in fact. Also a nice attempt at a writing style, I'll just mention ...

Bickazer, I could hug you. Thank you for seeing through the main conceptual core - a reaction against the megalomanic soap operas in the genre; for noticing that Harry behaves ...

Yo, good to see that the idea didn't evaporate but continues growing! Here is my contribution for hopefully making it better: 1. emotion - the jump from playful banter to ...

Yo, What is reality? What is god? Who am I? Do I trust my mind or what other people say? Hahaha, splendid, splendid. Here are some minor things which I ...

Yo, just read the first three chapters. These days I tend to decline commenting on the plots. There are no 'good' and 'bad' plots, it all hinges on how one ...