napalmerski

Yo, I don't do grammar review, only structural. Here we go:) A silhouette of a man, tall with his black coat covering his whole body, the glitter of a knife ...

Yo, I still haven't read the book, so I have no idea whether the plot is good or bad, well executed or not. But as an aspiring author to an ...

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Yo! Nice beginning. Very classical concept - an out of repair arcade transporting kids back into the...ahem...far past 8) ... as it is for some. The style and sentence structure ...

Yo, my um... three cents I pull the plug out of the socket and went back to bed .- tenses. Changing tenses from paragraph to paragraph is acceptable if you ...

Oh boy, and I just finished aditing my stuff. Back to the drawing board :D

This could be entertaining. Don't force your style - write as it comes. You say the story is already being written? Do it! :D

The uderlying theme of this play, as far as I myself can make head or tail of the outpour of barely conscious material, is structured along: a) phonetic linguistical puns ...

Hey, TenYo thanks for the small boost, I needed that! :D

Yo, Just to add a few things about keeping the rhythm and about wording. Not an attempt to tell you how to write, naturally, but I'll use the very begining ...

Yo, nice beginning, the last sentence is a bit confused,perhaps should divide it into two. Also the book on the legs - are the legs balancing the book, or is ...

Yo, Apple96, Vasticity, I'm glad the play made you laugh. As soon as I have another absurdist fit, I'll make something similar

Yo, nice story beginning, nice prologue. Althought the prologue should be about twice as big. Prologues and choice of words is entirely up to you as he author and no ...

Hey, that was great. Nice accent, nice way of wording things as seen and comprehended by a littl girl in a poor family in some sort of kingdom. Is it ...