napalmerski

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Yo, I don't review grammar, and I don't comment on plot. I do look at sentence structure, internal consistency of the story's logic, narrative rhythm, and various nuances which may ...

Write an hour a day even when you don't feel like it :D

Yo, a review from me. I don't do plot, or grammar, but only sentence structure, internal consistency, and basic narrative rhythm. This was actually quite enjoyable to read, and only ...

Hi Stella, thanx for the feedback, I've incorporated most of it already. I've left the scenery 'behind' the window, the mom stays 34, since he's her son and knows her ...

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That was great! I like the tone of the kid's internal monologes, and the basic premise. Have you read 'the new accelerator' by H.G. Wells? Here it is, if you ...

Yo, this is a nice, empty beginning, as others have written as well. I for one don't mind empty beginning, or for that matter empty books - as long as ...

Yo, here are my bronze coins, he replied, then bowed stiffly and stalked out of the room - 'stalked' is not really the most adequate word to be used here. ...

Hey, wow man. Wow:) That's one thing, which I respect very much about your writing, Krupp, and always have - the fact that you write as if the 70's, 80's, ...

Right you are Gryphon, and Rosey, I've changed the title of the thread to a better one :D

Yo, fritzalfonts just to say that I don't do grammar and plot, only sentence structure and internal consistency reviews. Here are my notes on your piece: Dawn was just breaking ...

Hehe, Curiosvampire, thanx for the kind words about the story! There isn't going to be a continuation, because these days I'm focusing my energy on longer stuff, and only write ...

RangerHawk, LavenderBlue, thank you for the feedback. I've already incorporated it into the story! But I've left the crooning, and have tried to save the uneasy purring, haha. Thanx again. ...

Yo Rosey, I can't explain anything. It's up the individual aspiring writer to try out all avaliable linguistic tools, and my own prefrences are in a state of flux as ...