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Re: Phoenix, ch. 1
I agree with Room101. It's too short right now, and I don't even know what/who your main chracter is. But it does sound interesting and I'd like to read more ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: Mortal Death, Immortal love
Awwee so sad. Yes it's cliche but I still really enjoyed it. The best pieces we write are when we are bored, like during Human Anatomy for example. Haha! If ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: A Dandelion Wish
A Dandelion Wish A childish face, Troubled with the ordeals of life Sought refuge, In the damp green grass, On a bright afternoon. Tear faced, he buried his head, In ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: Poem of a Silent Violin
hehe yes you did post in the wrong place but no worries! Great poem. great imagery. Is the title of the poem Forget Me Not, or Music of a Silent ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: The Soul Factory
Wonderful!! I really like how you described the factory. Yes Emily, she's personifying the factory. There were a few phrases in the poem that I'm sure I won't forget. You ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: last year at marienbad
I agree with Sohini, you need to capitalize your 'I's. I noticed some other grammatical mistakes. But mainly I think your poem doesn't sound too poem-ish...? All your verses are ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: An extract from book 3 of the Inheritance trilogy
I hope this part will be included in book three! I've been waiting for the last book of Inheritance Triology for quite a while now. When is it going to ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: What are you reading at the moment?
My Math Textbook. Exams coming up.
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: Ode to San Francisco
You live in San Fransisco? Great imagery and description. I agree about with previous review. You need to find a rhythm. I loved your poem!! And you have described all ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: Midnight
Simply WOW! Your writing shows that you really think like that while you are among nature. You don't really just take a walk, you look around, feel the night! Amazing ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: Beautifully Evil #3
Now some action!! I really didn't know you were going to add that. Not too cliche!! I love to be surprised while I'm reading. I agree with all the above ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: Beautifully Evil #2
The Negatives You are basically TELLING about Mary. Try and show your readers, her life her feelings through your writings. Maybe a scene with her father when she comes home. ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: The Orange Clad Girl
Just the beginning. Not sure how it will turn out. Comment. Probably aiming for a long short story. ------------------------------------------------------------------ The long summer day's slowly beca
Oct 26, 2007 -
Re: Writing or typing? How do you write your story?
I prefer typing. My minds racing while I'm writing so if it's handwriting then my pringitn gets reallymessy and confused, but my typed speed is pretty good and I can ...
Oct 26, 2007 -
Re: painting, please critique
WOW. You painting is amazing. Grr. Wish I could paint as well. I have very limited talent when it comes to paintin or any kind of artwork. But you're really ...
Oct 26, 2007
