-
Re: His Fool
Haha I loved this. It was humor yet is was serious and to the point. I could really sense the 'polite' anger and how irritated the protagonist is. I also ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: four.
Hey Ibprice! Welcome to YWS! This poem was not something new or extremely amazing. But it was still something I could relate to. The emotions that you brought in this ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Make this Last Forever (Hallelujah Sequel)
Hey aestar!! I loved your poetry. I like the feeling and atmosphere of this poem so good job! One thing that seemed to strike me was your rhyming. The rhyming ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: My First Poem
Well personally, I thought it was a bit cliched. The imagery was fantastic though, and the rhythm was also great, but the words and poem seemed rather empty to me. ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Friendship (revised)
Wow I loved this! The reason I was so awed by this was because you managed to pull something off so smoothly that I'm always having trouble with. The beginning ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: The boy who lived.... cheated!?
Umm, I'm sorry to say, this was not well written. You rushed too much in your story. I also noticed the way, you showed us the insights of the characters ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Teeth, a horror story
This was rather... unique I guess. You really lost me in spaces and it got confusing. I think you are thinking most of the story in your mind and as ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Maths Project
HAHAHAHA! This was very funny! Just noticed a few grammatical mistakes, no biggies. I just loved thos so much and have not much to say as I see nothing wrong ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: thanks again
Hello there! Welcome to YWS! Hope you are having fun. You poem was overall very nice and and a good effective voice. Now the mice: Its finally over I cant ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Writer's Block revised
Rather cliche and could use more description and imagery. Maybe you should put some metaphors in there to spice things up. But I have to admit, it held me and ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Why didn't anyone warn me?
Ok the caps in the end really bugged me. As Gryphon suggested, put them in italics instead. You were taking this whole piece with a wonderful rhythm and flow but ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Sixth Year.
HAHAHAHA!! I love your style, simply hilarious. I like how you showed us the attitude of the protagonist though you were rather vague about herself. But the vagueness made sense ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: What are you reading at the moment?
I just finished Angels And Demons by Dan Brown and am now reading The Da Vinci Code also by Dan Brown
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Takes one to write one?
Everything we write, no matter how creative and original it may seem is based on things around us. So no that wouldn't really be 'copying'. So I don't think you ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Revenge [EDITED] please crit. again
ok I've changed it and added a Janice-Dan secene. Please crit again as harshly as you want!!
Apr 9, 2008