miyaviloves

because I fell

Second part now posted :D

This is a good start, and it has potential for something good. I would have liked to have seen some more description of the characters in the first part, unless ...

Hmm this is ok, althought when i read it through the first time i didnt think it was too easy to read, unlike Riedawriter. Althought i decided to read it ...

I agree with Alainna, this is a good piece. I loved this: Hey stranger, you resemble my best friend but I don't know who you are any more. Dunno why ...

right, im having great difficulty with this, what with the changing of time and speach and stuff, so please let me know if i have made any time errors or ...

I have made fixed the stupid amount of spelling mistakes now, and i am currently working on the second part which i hope to post soon, hope you will all ...

thankyou both for your feedback, i will fix the many many spelling mistakes lol, thanks for pointing them out, i am terrible! This is the first chapter of something that ...

Creative criticism please, this is for my creative writing portfolio for college, so let me know if you think bits could be added/changed or anything really :P ****************************************

She stood alone shivering uncontrollably yet again. He was always late. Always. But like usual she saw him come out of no where; a smile spreading across his face as ...

Thanks for your feedback, well, this peice is follwed on from the first part of the story, and im planning to write more soon, hope you can review that aswell ...

Hey this is good, and Myth has put pretty much all the suggestions i can think of about it, one thing though: " to take out said " um is ...

Karm was never one to question life, its meaning or why things happened; he simply floated through each day, as happy as can be just being. It was not and ...

Thankyou all for your comments. I was uncreative with the title, its just what it said for my word document so i was like ahhh use that for now lol. ...

I like this, and i agree with Cameron that maybe adapt it to make it a little longer? miyaviloves