miyaviloves

this has potential to be something really good, keep working at it, add in little things here and there and you have something really great to work with! Good luck! ...

I agree with Alainna about it being delicate, its a sweet picture! I much prefer the color one :) Meevs x

I agree with it being a pretty poem, it was very cute sweet and well nice :) I like poems like this, itrs refreashing after reading so many teen angst ...

i think all the corrections and stuff have been pointed out to you and such here, well done i liked it :) Keep it up! Meevs x

this was so sweet and romantic! You used repetition well, sometimes it can sound overly repetative, but you used it to your advantage here, well done! Much love! Meevs x

Taken down due to publishing

Eww bacon! Lol, Im also liking his hat :P

This is ok, work at it, thats all i can say really..... Sorry that was pretty useless :P Meevs x

Yay i really liked this! I look forward to seeing how you make this progress, and how you adapt it, but its great so far! Meevs x

I guess that all that needs to be said has been said here! I really enjoyed this, its a great beginning, and it really gets you into the story quick, ...

I have to agree with Write Me on this. I think you were just rambling on in this poem, it does not mean anything, and the thing about the stew? ...

i liked this piece too, your character development is coming along nicely. I too got a little confused, i think its the unusual charcter names and the large amount of ...

I also very much liked this! I was drawn to the title, Kismet is a Indian resturant near where i live hehe! Anyway, this was extremly good, keep up the ...

Incan, this was superbbbbbbb writing! (I always have such high praise for your stuff hehe). I liked that this was taken from a perspective (is that the right word) of ...

I loved this! especially the ending! And...I have nothing more to say (I'm tired, to otired for long crits atm lol) Meevs x