miyaviloves

Ok, i wanted to try this out becuase I only ever write about like...normal things? So...what's better than monkey people eh? Creative critisim is greatly welcomed! Oh and Kai's name ...

I agree about the part where she leaves, I think there could have been a more understanding reason, or maybe you could have told us what that reason was for ...

Why have you posted this twice? You really don't need to.... Anyway, I think that Dele24 pointed out most of the mistakes, but here is what i think i should ...

hello both thanks for those great in-depth crits! They have really helped! And for both - Yob is a type of person who goes around getting drunk starting fights and ...

thanks for taking the time to crit this Alainna :) . I didn't really like Liam in Ice cubes but I can see that he's interesting. Aww poor Liam he ...

There's a ton of stuff in here that needs work, for one, a lot of the thing's you have the characters say I'm not sure they really would say...and i ...

Hello, I'm criting this AS i read it, so if any things sound stupid at the beginning it might be because I didn't understand it till the end :\ but ...

Hmm, i realllly liked the beginning of this, It seemed fresh and original, but as it went on i felt like i was hearing it all before. I think the ...

Ok this is Ice cubes (the start anyway) you won't find the old version on here as I had to take it down because of interest in publishing. Anyway, I ...

hmm, I agree with Snoink that it is a little creepy, and i also thought that the narrator was an older man, but I oculd be wrong, it could be ...

YAY it's LYLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH FOR POSTING THIS!!! Kite pretty much pointed out all the mistakes that I noticed so yay! Love it, love the ending of ...

Yeah thanks Nate, although someone left me a comment on MYSAPCE of all places about who dies and how it ends and stuff turns out they were lying about that ...

Ello! Welcome welcome welcome! Hope you fit in nicely here and I look forward to reading some of your stuff. Yup any help needed I'm always here to lend a ...

This was great JC!!! Magicman pointed out everything I could really see here, and I really like your descriptions. I always worry when I write Vampire stories that they will ...

Hmm yeah maybe should be in poetry but I'm not sure really :S I'm not really sure about this piece it's a bit bland, and very cliche... well I have ...