mikedb1492

The wolf’s ears pricked slightly, as low rustle could be heard in the near by bushes. You don't need the comma after slightly. Just ditch it. The wolf had sensed ...

I'm reading the latest book in the Alex Rider series 'Snake Head' by Anthony Horowitz. I just love his descriptions in these stories. Its one of the most addicting writing ...

I think a good one would be 'I Am Fire' by Prokaryote. Here's the link. Its really cool. It starts out a little ominous but ends with a nice bit ...

Adriana’s hair glistened like the water, reflecting thousands of colors. Hair can reflect thousands of colors? This was relatively short and I wasn't sure what this was about until about ...

Let's get started, shall we? When the scared-looking soldier stepped out of the woods with his hands raised I was pretty sure that he wanted to surrender but my sergeant ...

This was really well written, and overall it was good for what it was. The only thing is that I wasn't sure what was going on. I didn't know what ...

I read the other one before this but I don't think it matters. This one was pretty awesome too. You should definitely make more of these. Like the other one ...

Nice, man, nice. It was really funny. The only thing was that I don't think you can write about it and make it funny. To make it amusing I had ...

Alright let's get started. It then shown brightly on her full length mirror which reflected an image of herself that she barely recognized. I'd personally get rid of the word ...

Alright, let's get started. Jo turned at the sound, hoping to catch a glimpse of the bird. But it remained hidden in the... You don't need to separate these sentences ...

You're descriptions were nicely done and I understood what happened at all times. You've got a great style here and I think you should keep it up. The only objection ...

Here's the critique. She’s only the Abbot’s daughter, why all the fuss. That's a question, so use a question mark. Other than that there's nothing to critique. And like KJ ...

As Mr. Bucklin was leading him to his doorway he began to feel nervous, how would the Bucklins respond when he entered their house. Change the first 'him' to 'Thomas'. ...

I thought of this story in the middle of 'Career Education' class when these people were talking about the risks of credit cards and what would happen if you maxed ...

I personally thought that these conversations sounded nothing like what Harry and Ron would say. Besides, they're usually sitting by each other and talking anyway. If you ask me, you ...