mikedb1492

I really liked this. You got my attention and held it, but I agree with pretty much all the corrections KJ said, especially the eye glistening thing. You've got a ...

You didn't really give us much to critique and periwinkle pretty much said it all. All I can say is that you need to describe that dream more since all ...

I liked this, but like the others said, the ending wasn't great. When you're writing, you want the reader to indulge in the world you're creating with your words, but ...

This was really good and sad. You're grammar is a little off, and like the others said, you should definitely read over your work before you submit it. It must ...

Well I know for a fact that you dear sister, will not to be attending that formal tea of grandmothers. Put a comma after 'you'. Would you pull them a ...

Nice. This was pretty funny even though it was a little gross. The only bad thing I have to say, which isn't bad at all, is that I'm not sure ...

Put a space between each paragraph and I'll review it.

If you read the top of the title, than you know there will be major changes with this chapter. I immediately agreed with Mizz-iceberg's comment on how this chapter is ...

Thanks for all the critics. Pickle810, thanks for those birthing tips. I truthfully don't know too much about it (obviously) and I don't know what I was thinking making a ...

The only one I really liked was the last one. The angle was good and had a good balance. The others didn't tickle my fancy.

Wow. You know your way around a camera (and Mexico too apparently). I really like that first one with the palm tree. Well done. I also liked the wheel one ...

Everyone else got everything I thought was wrong so I can't give you too many tips. All I can say is that this was well written. The ending was a ...

The fat on her legs was gone. The fat on her legs were gone. she could melt and melt and melt and melt and melt and melt and the sheets ...

You've all heard the fairy tale, right? The dwarf helps the miller's daughter spin hay into gold so the king won't kill her. The first time, she gives her necklace, ...

I don't feel like taking the time to look up other languages for spell names, so I'm just going to describe them. 1: This is a spell that starts out ...