mikedb1492

Well, looks like you're new here, so your mistake is forgiven. You have to seperate the paragraphs by putting an extra space between them as shown below. This is paragraph ...

I liked this a lot. The contrast was pretty dang cool, and overall it worked well.

Nice drawings. I'd personally prefer a little more contrast in the shading, but over all they were great.

Barbie girl. Why was it made? The answer is plane and simple. Satan thought one day, how can I make earth worse? The answer, Barbie Girl. That's right kids, Satan ...

“That little bugger… That's out of character for Hermione. She wouldn't say that. Hermione had unbuttoned her trench coat, revealing a form-fitting black minidress that—shockingly—didn’t rea

“Yes,” Kristine said and gulped air. I don't like this. Before now you were making her seam like a calm, collected, intellectual being, but when you say 'gulped' I naturally ...

sorry. double post.

First off, much better than your previous version. I liked the descriptions and especially enjoyed how you dealt with making the escape more suspenseful. Now lets get started. “Haha, yes.” ...

Okay, I fixed what you said, and to answer your question, yes. My previous chapter one will return in this story, or it should, but it will be slightly edited ...

“Who said he was?” the girl sitting opposite me spoke. Say 'opposite of me spoke'. her voice was flinty. Flinty? Never heard that one before. What's it mean? And also, ...

Hey everyone, sorry this took so long to get out. For a long time it just didn't feel right, but I'm pretty sure this is where I want it. Like ...

I really liked this thing. The stuff blowing in the wind was cool and I liked the background parts. Overall, good job.

If it is guilt that brings the truth to light, and guilt that bring the heart to hope, then so be it, i am guilty." It's supposed to end as ...

Wow, well done. I really liked this and can't give much advise at all. It flows well and doesn't have any grammatical mistakes. Overall, I liked it (especially the ending ...

He paced along beside his bookshelf, letting his eyes wander over the shelves of books, I'd get rid of 'along' and 'shelves of'. It works better. Other than that, this ...