markvd

yeah, this is some really great writing. I think its important to convey as much as possible without saying a lot, or at least saying the right things and I ...

I loved your word choice:) excellent vocabulary. I especially liked "The topography of a smile." well done, I enjoyed it.

Thank you, your comments are very helpful.

I agree--a great piece. This is a subject we all deal with, and you presented it in a new and profound way. Keep up the good work

Very well written. I love how it is a sort of dissection of one's last moments, and a reflection of the life. It is painful, but as many writer's know--life ...

I had overheard them talking, and on several occasions caught my mother crying in her room. I never knew quite how to address it, so I didn’t, and often retreated ...

Twilight Tiger--I love your short, punches of verse. It really expands on the feeling and mood of the piece. I know what this is about from reading your profile, but ...

I liked your story, and I think it could be developed into something really great. Sometimes I had a difficult time following it. I would recommend going sentence by sentence ...

Very nice. I really enjoyed the description and its natural flow. I have two suggestions. First, in the beginning paragraph you start many sentences with "The." You may want some ...

no, you would be correct in thinking so. It was just a nice way for me to encompass some of the feelings i have about life right now, the swift, ...

Thomas sat down at the antiquated wooden desk. His father blew the dust off the attic-smell ridden piece, and joyfully handed the family heirloom to Thomas the day he started ...

From off the rock I slip away The high waters carry me The mountains rise around me Air, in circles, sweep the leaves On my back and towards the sky ...

also, that transition is the only major issue I see. Great use of description, its not overpowering, and at times, the story flows quite nicely. I would enjoy reading more ...

Yes, a bit cliche, but I did enjoy how you left the reader with hope at the end.

Great use of imagery. I like it that you don't use the cat's name or simply say "my cat." Its important that the reader gets a picture of what you're ...