magiclukehutch

quote: But then that would cost me points. ... Only like 15 or something, come on... I'll just leave it here. It doesn't really matter anyway

I really liked that from the start, I was hooked in and I would give that a 9 out of 10. Well Done!

I'd ask him what happens in this other world and if it was good, I'd volunteer, I think

YWS literary forums are a place to post and get feedback on work by you, not by other people. If you've got a story by someone else you'd like to ...

Personally, the first thing I see about a story (whether on YWS or in the bookstore) is the title. I know sometimes it can be hard to come up with ...

Someone I don't know sent me a bit of a story and here it is: The rain was pouring down outside. Lightning struck every few seconds and thunder pounded on ...

.NT too complex?

I usually go for symbolism, it doesn't always work for others, but I love it. Get the reader to become familiar with the setting/world, a common fair can be turned ...

Good poem! The song is faded No longer heard A little jaded I miss her words This doesn't really make sense.

I am fast at typing but that test showed me that I'm crap! :D

Basically, tension . Pose the problem, the story questions. Get the readers to ask, "what's going to happen next?" Or, "why did this happen?" Make the readers care about solving ...

Get Writers' And Artists' Yearbook 2007. I've got it and I find it VERY useful. JK Rowling used it and she said it was brilliant.

CHERUB is made up of kids and is the Junior Divsion of MI5. James Adams is sent to Australia to take in information about a religious cult who is involved ...

It's confusing and there are too many paragraghs

Start in the middle, with some sort of action already taking place. Or use your first line to build a sense of mystery. Examples, taken from my own work: "Leo ...