lyrical_sunshine

I really like this so far - I haven't read it in-depth, just kinda skimmed it, but it sounds really good. Unique. Keep it up, and I'll write a real ...

This is my favorite chapter so far :D but pegasi beat me to the in-depth critique. Overall, your writing improved hugely in just the past three chapters, and so did ...

"No." I tell that to Mom right away. (for some reason this sentence feels a little awkward. That's just a suggestion, though.) I don't want HER to come here and ...

Vanessa: "I don't think we're exactly supposed to understand what's going on." Marc: "I don't like not understand. Not understanding makes me irate." Jake: "Irate?" Marc: "I'm censoring myself for ...

SWEEEET! I'm a part of a website that Writer's Digest promoted! *feels special* Congrats, Nate! (And everybody else of course).

OOOH! I finished it, and it is SO much better than Twilight! Stella, yes, the characters are definitely more well-rounded, more flawed. There is no Edward - there is only ...

Lyrical Sunshine, in response to a much eariler comment... My Friend: Do you want to go to a free room? Me: I'd much rather stay here- have you seen Josh? ...

Vanessa: "An ANTIQUE British Medical Journal? What kind of crazy plot twists exist in your story?" Marc: "Are you kidding? Raven's so cool, she's a time-travelling half-elf who is also ...

Marc: "How many nicknames have I acquired over the past few pages of dialogue?" *runs to check* Vanessa: "If we had our way, Doc would be Doctor of the Century." ...

Marc: *blankly* "Tommy-toe toastie? Sounds like something that comes off your feet." Vanessa: "It's British comedy." Marc: "And how do you know this?" Vanessa: *grins* "Doc." Marc: "You're kidding! Dr

The late birds call the breathless moon, and through the trees watch embers fly The wild wind sings its restless tune, and glowing, fervent hearts and eyes paint the sky ...

Vanessa: *curious* "What name did your parents give you, Raven?" Marc: "Probably something along the lines of 'that little horror.' What do English people say to their abominable offspring?" Vanessa: ...

...You are my hero. :D I LOVE the 20s style.

*glares* Why are you so amazing??? You make everyone else feel bad. Shame, shame on you Kylan. But seriously, this is excellent. The one thing I saw was, I think, ...

Vanessa: "Ma main human creature?" Jake: "She left to get coffee...are you awake?" Vanessa: "I personally like the idea of nail poilsh. Hair glitter and Marc might be scary, but ...