lyrical_sunshine

"And then I said, 'Your mom!' Ahahahaha."

I quite liked this. Just make sure you watch your capitalization and spacing - sometimes you forgot capital letters at the beginning of the sentences. Also, I'm not quite sure ...

I totally agree with Shafter. End the story with "Forever is a long Time." That is perfect. It leaves the reader in suspense, whereas if you start rambling about Latin ...

Lots of run-ons - watch out for those. Like this one: "She looked out at the grey sky with a smile, this was her world; the closeness of her surroundings, ...

1.If I sent you to look for yourself at twelve o'clock, and you returned as yourself arrived, but not before you left at one o'clock , should I keep you ...

umm...it's a car. 6/10

9/10

Brilliant. Fabulous. I have absolutely nothing to critique - I'm just suddenly inspired to go and tear Firebrand to shreds in shame. I love the last bit - when Raven's ...

" ‘In the ground, stupid. Can’t you see it? It has to sleep at night. Otherwise it gets tired and starts telling the truth.’ He giggled at this. ‘The same ...

Ooh, so true. 10/10

Oh my gosh that was awesome!! I loved the Nazi comment. So true!

I haven't read the first chapter of BD, but I've heard so much about it I might as well have.

This is why, this is why, this is why we're hot! We're hot cuz we write, you ain't cuz you don't...

I think it kind of depends at what age you start writing. I started a series when I was about nine and wrote four novels up until I was 16. ...

Wow, 120,000! I'm impressed. Seriously, I'm having trouble eeking 60,000 out of my brain. But I don't know, maybe I'll surprise myself. Congratulations!