lxtmidnight

Wow, this took me somewhere totally unexpected, and I loved it! I do, however, agree with olivia with the opening line...stating the exact time makes it seem a bit awkward. ...

I just happened to skim through, and what everything I saw was very visual, and the imagery is wonderful! It sounds interesting from what I looked over. Sorry that I ...

I love this! It's hard (at least for me) to pack such a strong message in so few lines, but you did it extremely well. *hands gold star*

My Mother and Father stopped me from trying to go any further. They said "She's gone darling, she's gone". But Eva couldn't be gone. She couldn't be gone because we ...

When I type up a story for myself, I use Times New Roman, size 10. After I finish typing the entire thing I double-space it, and then if the number ...

Thanks for the comment...I'm glad that you find the story unique, cause that's what I was aiming for. =D As for the rest of the preface, I'm not too thrilled ...

Thank you everyone for your reviews, and for catching those little mistakes in there that I probably never would have seen XD

I edited this a very little bit....basically all that means is that i fixed the mistakes that everyone pointed out to me. Thanks XD Also, I added everything else i ...

I vote for beginning TWO! It caught and held my attention exceptionally well, which is saying something because my attention span is less than a flea's XD. I also had ...

Wow, this was good, and very, very creepy. The only thing I found that wasn't already said (at least, I think XD): The first time the man's name appears, it ...

I have nothing bad to say...this is great! I like th imagery, and I love that the Loser and the cafeteria kids are described as predator and prey, since kids ...

(Almost an entire month late, but here we go!) I don't have anything to say about the grammar, because I'm sure it's all been picked up on. BUT Add the ...

LOL thanks Aet Lindling Ashley Domenic Augustine, thanks for your help too, but this is only a small excerpt: there's much more to the story than this, so everything that ...

Thanks everyone for the advice! I did a little bit of editting using what you've told me, and I think it's better already XD

Thanks for the advice! I editted it a bit, adding in more thought from Kyrion, and it turned out a lot better! (I'm a pen-and-paper person, so I didn't type ...