lunasouseiseki

OKAY :) I have added more human aspects to the story. I have a habit of forgetting that ppl dont read a story the same way I do because in ...

thanks! you are so right about the characters I am going to fix it up and do a re-write :)

omg perfect! i have been looking for a short simple way to do this. good work

Hi I can review your work. Just PM me the link or go the Will Review for Food column.. What is the Will Review for Food column?

Add Thibeault after that and you would get the hardest blow to the face from her I don't think you need that last part So he is a white boy ...

you are VERY talented my friend! I cannot wait to see how this whole story pans out.

oh and try "we will cause the end of the world" - flows better. but once again, just a suggestion

hey, you have a key eye for imagery! i love how your use every single detail to form a bigger picture. but i suggest you use full stops rather than ...

Aw thanks you guys! I do have some stuff up already that needs to be critiqued but i'll have a lot at your stuff. I came on here primariy to ...

Ashlee quietly hummed to herself while she flipped through the latest issue of Glamorise. Sipping her large hot chocolate she looked at her watch as casually as she could. She ...

I am soo excited about Halo Reach cause ODST was my favourite Halo. I have played twilight princess but i still say Ocarina of time was better. Althought being a ...

I have to hand it to you, I liked it. I wasn't quite sure what all was going on, but it kept me interested whilst I was reading. I found ...

hey! I can't wait to read the rest of your story. Zombie 'end of the world' stories are so popular these days but I like to read how different people ...

She was so Beautiful Part One 18th of January 1994 She was so beautiful, but sadly she didn't see herself the way he did. She saw herself as a monster ...

I've been writing stories ever since i can remember but this will be the first time i've put a story out there to be critiqued. I like anime (haruhi suzumiya, ...