lone-flower

I really liked this. Just avoid too much description for your introductions. Instead of grabbing your readers' attention, you lose it. Actually, you could scrap the beginning and start with ...

The others have said pretty much everything I wanted to say :D. Ditto the cliche. It doesn't really grab my attention, honestly.

You said you'd like things to be vague. But, honestly, this was just a bit too vague. That wouldn't have been the case if you're planning on writing a novel ...

Beautiful writing! I love the imagery of the scene described. I love it. And, shockingly, there's nothing to criticize :shock: *aww* Good job!

Wow. Just... wow. That was very beautiful. I loved every bit of it! Now, though I don't want to, here come the criticisms :twisted: : She flinches at [s]his[/s] the ...

Thanks guys! :mrgreen: Tough I think it'll probably take eternity before I post the next chapter.

I liked it. Except that it was too predictable. The minute you said encantados like parties, I knew Victor was an encantado. Maybe you could mention that fact after his ...

This was very moving and very true. I don't really think the dialogue was forced. What else could they talk about? The only mistakes I noticed were already mentioned, so ...

Yeah I was thinking about that too. My only excuse would be to say that she was fighting against her feelings for him at first, because falling in love was ...

Science. So long as there's no chemistry. :smt119

I loved it! It was very moving. You have a great gift with telling emotions.

I didn't know whether to feel angry or relieved. Angry because he had dragged me here in the middle of the night when he could have done so in the ...

Man can't live on bread alone. The same goes for words. I want to be a writer. That's why I'm planning to get a degree on Psychology. I want to ...

Currently reading "Family Resemblance" by Tanya Maria Barrientos. I recommend it to anyone who likes deep family issues

Let's say your character is an orphan, and you're not. Or your character's popular, and you're not. Or your character's a whore, and you're still a virgin. You get my ...