lluvialover

I could tell right away who the narrator was, it's funny you ask to pm you if we guess who it is. It's too easy, which is a good thing. ...

Where's the rest? xD

Hi, This whole chunk bellow sounds like a poker player's blog. It's a very boring account about a game with a lot of numbers. It is quite hard to get ...

Nice poem, although it could use some improvement. "You recover and look up (there should be a comma here) the bright sun and cool breeze greets (should be "greet") you." ...

I love rain (lluvia in Spanish) and I like putting together words in different languages. My hotmail is verdechay, verde being green in Spanish and chay is tea in Russian.

11. Women’s Rights “Why is everyone so quiet?” Sabihah inquired with disappointment as she stood in the middle of a crowd of female students all dressed in black burqas. “Sabihah, ...

Hi. Overall I like this beginning so far. "He smelt like raw meet meat and body odor obviously masked a little by the stench of beer on his breath and ...

Besides the legs and arms, her neck looks too wide and her ear looks strange. Her lips are almost invisible and what's up with the eye? Is it closed? She ...

Sabihah means beautiful. I have 3 more chapters to post. Yes they are kind of small..I don't know it's just the way they turned out. Thank you for you comment ...

9. The Howling Wind She woke up to the sound of the alarm for a prayer, feeling loved. Usually she always rose up right away, but this time sat on ...

Hi Romeyo, Sounds like a corny song...with a bunch of rhyming phrases meant to seduce..ok..and? This needs some guitar jams to go with it, it would make a good rock ...

I know this is a little belated..but Thank you for all of your comments! This was just an experimental improv piece I did and I am not going to continue ...

This introduction simply tells "I hated, I hated" but doesn't show exactly why she hates the farm. I can't understand why the character feels the way she does and so ...

8. The Escape Brian supervised the drop off the supplies at the war base, along with that; he gave the directions to avoid another road where a bomb was dropped. ...

Hi White Shadow, Yes this is very short, sounds more like a beginning of a chapter. I like the way you repeated "I ran", it gives a rhythm , similar ...