leebass

Hey i really like this, i don't really have any critiques, just that i want to read more! I think the dialogue is good, but there's not much to critique, ...

Hi, no that's not too brutal, i agree with the points that you've made. I think i'll try and flesh it out a bit and see how that goes. Thanks ...

Hi. I'm here as requested. I think everyone else before me has cleared up nitpicks etc. so all i can comment on is your ideas really. I love the mask ...

Hi, i like the atmosphere throughout this. The endings good too, it makes me want to read the rest of the story. Overall this is pretty good, you just have ...

Hi. I like the description in this. But that's all it is really, just a lot of description. It's not really a story, there's no conflict and no tension. I'm ...

Ah ok, i thought that, then i thought there must be a reason for you putting it in and then i couldn't help thinking it was because she's french. I ...

Hi, this is a good start. There's not much to say because it's so short. Next time wait until you've written the whole story before posting it for a review. ...

Hi, yeah i liked this. A few mistakes i've marked. You say you were nine when you found out the 'truth' about your grandfather's death, but you never say what ...

Hi, i didn't spot any punctuation or grammar mistakes. I enjoyed reading your story, you have a good vocabulary and you use it sparingly. I mean you don't always try ...

Hi. I really liked this. Both characters are vivid and i can imagine them as real people. The plot is simple yet effective. The dialogue is realistic, although the girl ...

Thanks for that, i hadn't heard of Daniil Kharms before. It's strange; i like it but it leaves me cold. I'll have to look into some more of his work.

This is more of a hallucination than a story. A bunch of images thrown together. There's no narrative throughout it and it just leaves me feeling a bit cold. It ...

You're a bit enthusiastic with commas in this i'll put them in brackets. It sounds good so far, keep working at it! :D I wake up to find my face ...

Hi. I thought it was well written and you captured the MC's emotions well. I kept on getting the feeling that the story was set in a different era though. ...

Hi, i like your story. The description of the ghost/monster is excellent, just enough description to get a horrible image in my mind :). The only thing was it was ...