leebass

Revised once again! I'm quite pleased with it now, but i'd still like to hear other people's thoughts on it :D ---------------------------------------------------------- “I saw a boy pulling the win

... treats. "Hey you! Porch girl! ...

Sadistic japanese reality tv game show based on lying, cheating and doing whatever it takes to win. Contestants all live in one gun shaped house and complete tasks each week. ...

Ok, thanks for the advice! I'll keep at it :D

Hi, you've confirmed my suspicions that it is definitely too vague. I can see how it's confusing now that you've pointed it out. I tend to assume everyone reading anything ...

I'd appreciate a review when you have time. Nobody seems to want to review this: Thanks :)

Ok, this has potential. But it seems a bit vacant, there's no real substance to the story. Why is she on the road? Why are talons clenching her hair? Who ...

Wow, this is really good. I never even caught on that it was for the contest. You embedded the three elements that well. I couldn't find any mistakes. This is ...

... little boy: Stan Junior. "Hi ...

Oh. That would have been a good start.

What exactly is the Young Writer's Literary Journal?

Hi, this is really good. You really get a sense of everything the MC is feeling as he feels it. It ended on a major cliffhanger though. What's going to ...

Hi, yes you should keep going with it. It has a surreal quality to it, like Alice in Wonderland or Coraline, which i like. It doesn't seem like a child's ...

Hi, i'm not that good at critiquing photography but i can tell you what i do and don't like about your photos. 1. I love this. I love that it's ...

Hi, i couldn't find any mistakes anyway, so no problems there. Is this part of something longer? I know you said 'you'll just have to wait and see' but you ...