kshsj777

I like the dialogue, too. I'll read pt2 & pt3

Some minor editing thanks to Azila! The woman ran through the trees of the forest, holding a bundle in her arms. She could hear the hoof beats of her pursuers' ...

I wrote my first short story in the sixth grade. I still have it, but it's sooooo dumb. I wrote more in the seventh through ninth grade, but didn't really ...

I usually write down my stories first in my journal when I'm struck with inspiration, then type it up later when I've got time. I usually edit it as I ...

I like the names, but I'm a bit confused. Is Eisen and Briind nicknames for Wrhaden and Iistengel?

There is another thing I'm wondering. The scene where Tamara interrogates Richard. Is that realistic?

I just had an idea. What if I start a bit earlier, like inside the house when Donna and Tamara are doing something fun together, like... I don't know... baking ...

Okay. How do you suggest I start it? I mean, its supposed to be everything is all peaceful and then bam something bad happens. And no, Tamara doesn't have special ...

I'm a fan of Star Wars, so when I saw your title, I clicked on it. I think it's pretty good. Are you going to write more?

When I copied it to Microsoft Word, it displayed at Times New Roman. I don't know why it doesn't look like that here. How do I change it to make ...

Too be honest, it is a bit confusing. There's too much information in the last paragraph. Try adding more dialogue. Why does the ruler of the US want to take ...

Tamara Reddings, now a woman of age twenty-three, rode in the back of a black car as it pulled into the parking lot of a hospital. She put on a ...

Prologue It was a bright sunny day in the middle of summer when they came. There was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to foreshadow what would happen in the ...

I liked Chapter two. It's kinda short though. It did seem a bit too soon for Forte to attack Sonata. Why does he care what she did? Melody is from ...

I thought chapter one was pretty good. I like the idea of three different groups corresponding to the primary colors and the three other group made up of secondary colors. ...