kshsj777

Thank you for the critique!!!

Thank you for the critique!!!

I have deleted the story, and plan on publishing it after revision. Thank you for the critiques. Word Count Approx. 1250, Pages 4

I have deleted the story, and plan on getting it published after revision. Thank you for the critiques. Word Count Approx 1300, 4 pages

Some of the questions you asked, I answered in the post above yours. I understand the whole limo thing is unrealistic, so I will have to change that. Your question ...

I had a word limit when I was doing this prompt so I couldn't really expand on details. I guess I understand your point about the limo guy. But Matilda ...

NOTE: This is something I wrote as a writing prompt. It sort of like an "alternate reality." This didn't actually happen in my book, Followers of the Light, but the ...

Jennifer yawned as she slowly awoke. She sat up to see Kyle standing near the bed, buttoning up his shirt. "Hey," she greeted. "Hey." "So... what are you planning to ...

I don't think this was really bad, but it does need some improvement. The genie and woman are both funny. "Woman: Well, he he, I wasn’t exactly saving this for ...

I put in the changes you suggested. Thanks, chocoholic. Glad you like it better. If you could get me specifics of how to improve ch1, I would appreciate it.

NOTE: There is a little French in the last scene, followed by the English in italics. If any of you know French, please make sure it's correct, since I am ...

Thanks for catching the typo chocoholic. I don't understand what you mean by I didn't show any emotion. I showed plenty. Thanks 1dering at stars, I'm glad you liked it.

The dialogue doesn't need to italicized except for a few words here and there for emphasis. The dialogue at the end was confusing b/c I didn't know who was saying ...

Elder Jabeth sat at the head of an oval conference table, with three Jenar on one side, with three Peluri on the other. "Good morning. Thank you for coming here ...

That had been over ten years ago. Jennifer Sweet had successfully completed her training as a Queller, and was now working as an ambassador, trade negotiator, and mediator between disputes. ...