kokobeans

I know people are staring at me as I walk though the unfamiliar hallways, following the girls and the group who had just come to save us. I keep my ...

I stand as patiently as I can, waiting for a reply. Still the others move about, shifting shadows bringing Sennas idea to life. Eventually I take a deep sigh, give ...

I crouch down low on the opposite side of the fire, arrow lined up and aiming at his throat whilst the air around the flame-like mist that surrounds the tip ...

I really like the ideas behind this letter, but I was wondering, what's the purpose of it. Telling a one-sided story through letters is an interesting technique, but perhaps you ...

I quite like the ideas in this piece. I like the way you've portrayed the characters mostly through the speach instead of dumping a character profile, it's an interesting technique, ...

Haha, very smart, but I do agree it could be longer. Maybe you could throw in some more x words. I don't really know what else to say about this, ...

This is a brilliant and thoughtful poem. Every line seems to fit perfectly in it's place, even the title. I know this isn't a very helpful crit, but I thought ...

I agree with the others that the spacing was... a really bad idea. The word 'Thanks' would be better as 'Thank you', otherwise it's demeaning the elegance of the poem ...

This is very cute. I think what lets you down a lot is that you constantly begin your sentences with 'I'. Also, the beginning - vocal overdose. For a piece ...

If it's any consolation - given a different meaning I quite like this poem. As I don't have a clue who Homer is, I looked at this as homer being ...

(This looks like fun) your name: (unknown) i am: creative and bright i wonder: what tomorrow will be like i hear: music everywhere i see: a world dancing i want: ...

I really like your ideas, I can't wait to find out what happens next. The only thing is that I'm interested to see the original. It seems like you've thought ...

*Sorry A13, I didn't realise which door you opened. And besides we now have a vague identity of one of the bad guys... that helps, I think?* She curls up ...

*I don't really know how to respond so this may sound dreadful* *And question, does anyone have a plan about what this betrayal thing is about, or are we meant ...

Name: Izuki (female) Age: Early teens Species: Izuki (she doesn't know) Class: Performer? Appearance: Turquoise eyes that change colour, extremes are purple when she's exhausted or yellow when she's r