kokobeans

Wouldn't that induce more anger and antisocialism on yws, resulting in an overload of internet based frustration and lead to the depletion and sickness of yws users computers and spread ...

I let out a deep sigh. If her clan was up in the mountains, it meant this probably wasn't her city that had been destroyed. That made things a little ...

(i missed the random encounter... my bad) I stayed up there until I heard shuffling, distorted voices. That was the others, right? They had found me at last! I jumped ...

After getting bathed and changed I looked into the mirror at someone who looked like normal, average kid. I was taken to the sorting hat, who hissed sadly and declaired ...

Oo big twist in the plot, big battle comming up, hopefully pushing the plot forward...? At last we set off through the forest, until a dreadful stentch burned my nose. ...

(Sorry guys! I will try to stay on track, but if it becomes too much of a problem find some sort of deadly mushroom or something for Izuki to eat) ...

That sent shivers down my spine. Nice work! You've used an interesting structure to start it off. I love the way you've left most of this a mystery, leaving it ...

This is a really good piece of work, but it's incredibly hard to read as it is. Here's my suggestion of how to play about with the structure a little. ...

I love this! It's powerful and sad, without being melodramatic. Good job. I have to say I really think it should be longer. I started reading, but I expected more, ...

This is a great start. You've introduced your characters really well, and made them instantly likable, so I'd say you've got nothing to worry about there. I love the way ...

Fantastic! I agree with everything Kazdrea said. You've captured the emotions of your characters brilliantly, and very genuinely too. You've got a great style of writing. You've set up a ...

*Sorry i haven't been posting much, I'm still a little hazy on these characters and situations. It's quite complex* The cart rattled along its tracks and darkness swallowed us, whilst ...

I love this! You've really captured the characters and their personalities, as well as their relationship. You've also pulled of something that a lot of writers can never do - ...

...and rain turns to diamonds...

Hi, i see you're new. Maybe you haven't quite got the hang of this. What's the idea behind this post exactly?