kokobeans

Alas! My internet works! Thanks for keeping me in the story. Oh my word a lot changed in one day/night. As a usual habit I'm going to backtrack a bit... ...

Hehe, I love how you've brought the three siblings to life, nicee work. You've got a lot of talent, especially considering your age. Two things I have to pick out. ...

Oh my word that was amazing! I love the way you've started with one main character and given everyone on the train their own personality and story, nicely done. This ...

I agree

One comment; 'a heady feeling as is – it’s the way the warm, flower-tinged air,' this sentence doesn't make much sense to me. I'm not really (or rather, really not) ...

Okay this story doesn't seem to be working because half the people who joined have forgotten, so whoever is still in let me know some as soon as possible and ...

castle

haha interesting topic

As a poem this is a little short, and personally I think continuous rhyme gets slightly annoying. As a riddle I like this... though I still haven't worked out what ...

I could definately get used to assumptions like that. When we finally got taken to dinner we where sat at a table with a silk tablecloth. Silk! A banquet enough ...

'Idiots.' Haha I love that. I really like this, you've introduced Stanton very well. I also like the way you've added a comical side to a serious situation, it's very ...

I love this! You've done a great job setting up a backround and introducing the characters. I can't really see much wrong. There's a few cliche phrases in there, and ...

I really like this poem, there's too many people writing poems about teenage love, so compared to most this really stands out. Nice work. I think cutting it too short ...

Thanks everyone who has helped with this ----- It's been another late night at school. Darkness is already flooding the world at five o'clock. Detention is finally loosing its grip ...

This piece reminds me of a photo album, flicking between pictures and situations, that's quite smart. It's an interesting idea, personally I don't particularly like this format, but then that's ...