kokobeans

Slytherins? From what I've heard, Slytherins are bad. Though, they can't all be bad. These three seem nice, I think. Since they're locked up by the bad guys, I guess ...

Dark is falling fast all around us, whilst a cool breeze starts to prickle my arms. I've been so concerned with the other people, I've completely forgotten about the elements. ...

This is a great start. 'Drinking my essence and all the people around me', sounds fine. If you want to change it you could write '...and that of the people...' ...

Much easier to read. Good job. Another tip - a lot of people who comment your work will probably check back anyway to see improvements. You don't have to repost. ...

A really good poem, and very genuine. I can't think of anything particularly good or bad about this. The lines and verses all worked together really well. The last line ...

I love it. This is a great poem and a very smart title. It confused me at first, but I like the way the whole thing is linked together, so ...

I've not seen or read Full metal alchemist (I assume that's FMA). Is this a novel version of FMA or is it just based on the idea? I do like ...

Since you happened to put this in storybooks, there's an idea. These rpg story things help a lot. Try thinking of a starting idea, and then a single character. Write ...

*Sorry, a tiny request. When people start writing can they put the name of their character in brackets or something, i think i'm getting people muddled up. Same if people ...

Haha! Hilariously brilliant! I haven't laughed this hard in so long. Kudos. Oh, can I feature this on my profile?

Nice work. I really like the way you add details like the characters movements to the conversation. Your descriptions could do with a little work. Try imagining the scenes clearly ...

I really like this, you've got some great ideas. Your writing needs a little polishing up though. I'd recommend you have a browse around the internet for some basic writing ...

I love it. There's a lot of really good ideas in there, and i like the style of writing too. Keep up the good work. Kudos.

The beginning of this piece is the end of 'just like me', aka part one. Yuki is the dude who was introduced as a purposely shallow character in part one, ...

My mind is shaking between calm and fearful. Everytime the tension falls there is another uprising. I slow my pace and walk behind the rest of the group. Safety in ...