kittykat

This was awesome! Not much suprise there... You should really write more! Why aren't you going to continue it? Another question, why is called the In the Deep Blue? I ...

*faints* Just as great as the prologue if not better! Everyone else already got to the grammer errors, so if I put any that'd just be repeating what they said. ...

This... was... amazing... *wipes away tear and runs to read the others* I can't believe I didn't read this earlier! I don't know what else to say other than it ...

Hello, I'm kittykat! Welcome to YWS! Memento Mori is your name? If I remember correctly, doesn't that mean "remember death?" PM if you've got any questions on the site! ...Or ...

I think Fly would look like the second or third one.

[Giovanna] She slunk down the stairs, her stomach growled. Passed Sirith and Viola in the living room, Naomi and Hart were in the kitchen. Naomi was glaring at Hart while ...

[Giovanna] Giovanna sat on the couch near Viola, staring the opposite way she was. Hart finally got the knot untied and took the rope off. "You know, if you didn't ...

[Giovanna] She was right behind Fly, everyone was there. Naomi, Sirith, Hart, Fly, and Aoi. They were all headed towards Dean's house. Naomi stepped up to the front door and ...

*we live there?! that thing is gigantic! maybe one us should get lost in house...? :D*

Wow, this was really good! I'm not actually sure how to crit this though. The best part was definately the last. sorry it's such a short crit! - kittykat

Um... What was this for? Is this supposed to be a poem? I didn't get it...

Hmm... Ah, yes... This was interesting... I liked how it was written. But I still agree with JFW1415, you need to show us instead of telling us so much. This ...

[Giovanna] With her thoughts away from Entry, she focused on where she was then. A devious smile played across her face. "Hart, your bravery right?" He nodded. "I'm Giovanna, goddess ...

[Farleigh] "Um..." it was so awkward for her, she stared at the ground. "I thought we could climb out of here since it's a pit and all... Unless you two ...

[Giovanna] She brushed past Fly. "Your going to have to ask one of them, I... I'm going outside." The cool night air calmed her, letting breath easily. Giovanna sat on ...