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Re: Broken - 4
Wow. That was very intense and can I say it had me from the beginning I mean the beginning of the whole story. I really don't have much to critique ...
Sep 9, 2008 -
Re: Dead
Hey just so everyone knows i didn't mean to put this under Sci-fi. It is a romantic fiction sorry. “Yeah. I know. No really Mom I’m fine. Yeah, I’ll call ...
Aug 24, 2008 -
Re: Best friend
Best Friend What does it take to realize you have a best friend?’ That’s when I think about her. I think I know what a best friend is. She is ...
Jun 18, 2008 -
Re: Stop and Smile
I really like this poem because i've honestly never thought about it that way before. I think this is really good. Next time i will stop and smile.
Apr 30, 2008 -
Re: Guilty
I really liked it. At times it could get confusing. But i liked the voice. Good. :)
Apr 15, 2008 -
Re: My friend. Do you know??
What do you do when someone you love is so unaware of the pain they cause? So you say you’re fat?? Well I say your skinny. So you say you ...
Apr 6, 2008 -
Re: Dreamed of Hell
I really liked the repittion to start out. I thought it was really good. It had a TON of feeling in it. Very good. :)
Apr 4, 2008 -
Re: My Neighborhood
THat was a very powerful poem. I loved it. THe only thing is where are you?? Thats the only problem i have with it. Otherwise it is a FANTASTIC poem. ...
Mar 30, 2008 -
Re: painful break up
Hmm. I thought it was..okay. I mean it was good but i thought it needed some revising. Ummmm you can do a break in the line at different times because ...
Mar 24, 2008 -
Re: "It's me, MARIO!"
Wow. Did you draw that?? Thats really good. I love it. Haha. No critique.
Mar 23, 2008 -
Re: Him
I liked it but.... You need to write it more as poetry. Thats all I really have to say though. :) And take out the dialouge. Dialouge is hard to ...
Mar 23, 2008 -
Re: Pierced with love
I liked this poem. I thought it was good. I dont really have any suggestions. Sorry.....
Mar 15, 2008 -
Re: blind eyes
Wow. I thought this was really good. I really liked the MUAH part. I thought it showed voice and enthusiam. I wouldnt change anything but just consider revisiing gramer
Mar 11, 2008 -
Re: When I do it once, I have to do it twice.
WOW. Intense. I really liked it. I dont have much to say. This almost mad me cry though soooo good job.
Mar 10, 2008 -
Re: How could you?
hmmm. It was interesting. Very good word choice or placement i guess. sorry im not more help. And in the last stanza you said hink instead of Think.
Mar 8, 2008
