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keren

  • General Fiction Novels
    Re: Hero of Treason, Chapter 2

    Treason Amaris dropped silently from her tree, congratulating herself. She had shot something against all odds. She approached her kill with care in case it was still alive. Her smile ...

    Nov 26, 2011


  • Hey DiannePan, This is really good! It is really dark and mysterious and I love the suspense. I have a few nitpicks: The first sentence The moon’s skin was tightly ...

    Nov 26, 2011

  • General Fiction Novels
    Re: Hero of Treason, Chapter 1

    The Dream Amaris crouched on a rock. Her green eyes glowed, as much a part of a panther as her stance. The hunters were coming, that much was clear. Amaris ...

    Jul 5, 2011

  • General Fiction Novels
    Re: Sparks; prologue

    Holy moly, that is good! Please tell me you have more to this. So suspenseful, great imagery, the warning. Draws the reader right in. I have one single nitpick: Have ...

    Jul 5, 2011

  • Narrative Poetry
    Re: The lesson of the TP

    This is really funny. I like it a lot. You could turn this into a full story. Your mechanics are perfect, unless I missed something. It's realistic in a sad ...

    Jul 4, 2011

  • Fantasy Novels
    Re: The Chosen One arises

    Your descriptions are breathtaking. You definitely have a talent for that. But, you have a few mistakes, so here goes the nitpicks: In a small village called Cairna, strange events ...

    Jul 3, 2011

  • Welcome Mat
    Re: Excuse Me,

    Hey Canine. I'm pretty new here too, so I know how you feel. When you are reviewing, just tell the author whatever you think they need to know. You'll do ...

    Jul 3, 2011


  • Hey Gladius, this first chapter is great! It's really exciting and mysterious. Also, you some how managed to mix modern with old. Your writing was perfect except for one thing ...

    Jul 3, 2011

  • Other Poetry
    Re: What is

    What is What is a wish, if it is not spoken to the world? What is a dream, if it has no end? What is a want, if no one ...

    Jul 2, 2011

  • Fantasy Short Stories
    Re: tomato and orange

    This story is funny and all, but it has no structure. It has a good plot, but I have the feeling you wrote this just for the heck of writing ...

    Jul 1, 2011


  • Wow cammie, This story is excellent and sad. I don't have any nitpicks but I want to point out one thing. Whenever I got mad at her, she just smiled ...

    Jul 1, 2011


  • I love the story, it's really great. I have a few nitpicks. … Another normal day where arguments, I don't understand what you're saying here. Maybe a typo? [quote=]He looked ...

    Jul 1, 2011

  • General Fiction Short Stories
    Re: The Myth of Persephone

    I hate Hades. As much as I like the underworld, I still blame him for this whole mess. Perhaps an explanation would be better than my reflections. The day started ...

    Jul 1, 2011

  • General Fiction Short Stories
    Re: Ephemeral And Hard Working - That's Me!

    This is pretty funny. I'm guessing you got bitten by an ant earlier, then wrote a story about it from the ant's point of view. I personally think you can ...

    Jul 1, 2011


  • This is great! I think all the descriptions are wonderful. I did notice that you accidentally wrote exciting or excited as exiting or exited. Other than that, this is beautiful. ...

    Jul 1, 2011


Goos are anarchists.
— WeepingWisteria