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Re: Hotel
H O T E L by Kisba night roads: i came to see stars, but i'm in the light of streetlamps. walking home, home is my home away from homeless ...
Apr 26, 2009 -
Re: good,bye
good,bye By Kisba Did you run away? Like the wind, for the hills as they say... 'Cause when you win, no violins, skyward chins: took my aspirations away! April showers ...
Apr 17, 2009 -
Re: Shattered
For Rosey's contest . Touching sea and touching light, dancing through a breathless night, separating something fright'ning from the carpet where I stand. 'Round me fly the dust specks in ...
Apr 3, 2009 -
Re: Grandpa's Old Garden
i like this! it's sunny, clever, and it's about an original topic, and tells an interesting little story of what goes on when you visit your grandma's garden. the flow ...
Apr 3, 2009 -
Re: Blodsun
this is impressive! i like the way it tells a story. you did a great job of setting the tone, getting the reader into the mood of the piece, and ...
Apr 3, 2009 -
Re: Oh my god
this isn't bad. it seems like a lot of the rhymes are forced, but the overall impression is okay. the poem needs more descriptive words to keep the reader's attention. ...
Apr 3, 2009 -
Re: Ellipsis
ellipsis By Kisba yesterday ... something was held theft omitted, taken removed i am bereft of something from every point that i proved and i'll busy myself to forget the ...
Mar 26, 2009 -
Re: Invisible
hey! i'm here to review this. i didn't really like it. it seemed like it might as well have been an essay. if you want to write poetry that touches ...
Mar 26, 2009 -
Re: Of An Icy Chandelier
whoa... this is good stuff. i like the descriptive words you used. Mightily, wheezy, etc. and i like the concept. it's unique. tells a little story of loss, and in ...
Mar 26, 2009 -
Re: 6:28 AM
this is a narrative i wrote about my high school. 628 AM by Kisba It was 6:28. But I didn't know that. I forgot to wash my hair last night. ...
Mar 20, 2009 -
Re: not sure...
this is a weird poem. it doesn't have a name. it's about some things.... i dunno. just tell me what you think. i'm not expecting that great of a turnout, ...
Mar 20, 2009 -
Re: The Loser
The Loser by KISBA the seconds pass fast and your heart sings to you low "you will outlast just keep your door closed..." windows locked: shotgun cocked, secrets interlocked upon ...
Mar 17, 2009 -
Re: It'll Be Okay
this poem hits pretty close to home with most people. it's graphic, and touching, and purely painful and emotional. the only real complaint i have is the last stanza, it ...
Mar 17, 2009 -
Re: Save Me
this isn't bad. it seems like the poem has a lot of unwritten pain behind it which seeps through. particularly in the last stanza. my favorite lines are the third ...
Mar 17, 2009 -
Re: Me Neither
i know you said no corrections, but i can't help myself. you said "breathe" instead of "breath". one is a noun form, one is a verb form. sorry... but you ...
Mar 17, 2009
