joshuapaul

No that's fine I asked for a brutal critique. The story is aimed at early teens so there is little else that can be said here all I want the ...

this is very compelling. I haven't read any of your other work but I like your writing style. Most of the fiction I have found in YWS is crammed with ...

This is the first chapter of a Novella I am currently writing. It is aimed at early teens. Please be brutal with your critique. One Christopher Jarvis often wondered how ...

Good idea. This story has a bit of soul and is original which is awesome. However, I think you need to do alot of work. It's just too boring from ...

The job Shane had been to the house once before, It was a few years ago when he was still a kid but he remembered it well. He knew the ...

Great stuff, I have read a few of your chapters and you seem to be humming along quite nicely, no serious flaws. Your writing is close to a publishable standard ...

Wow, there is alot to be said here... All I can say for now is it is far too wordy. Take the first few sentences: "Night silently approaches." It is ...

The Maketu horizon is a ruby crease. The tide creeps to our feet and the gulls are beginning to call high above the beachside fish shop. Dad’s eyes slide away ...