joshuapaul

Ha this certainly wasn't what I was expecting but in hindsight what more could I expect with the title 'Best Friends.' I like the way you have broken it up ...

enchanting piece and what a way to end. Or perhaps more will follow? The fact the idea of this piece comes from the cat and the butterfly adds alot of ...

Is this an entire chapter? have you mapped the entire story out chapter to chapter? My point is this may serve well as an epilogue but it seems far to ...

Chapter three much the same as two. The beard is explained with some subtlety which was lacking in chap. 2. The story is reeled in a little here which isn't ...

Chapter 2 The absence of wind was so sudden that for a moment I thought I must have fallen from the rooftop, that I was dead. Pain fought through the ...

Where to begin... Prologue - very brief and concise and stirs interest. No boring bits just a hint of what lies in the next chaptor(s) Chaptor One - Fast paced ...

hmm, well written prose that ticked over nicely. There was something eerie and dark particularly the ending, seemingly no denouement, just a question. Well a few questions, Was she delusional? ...

Nice, slow and steady but an interesting piece. Interested to read the other chapters. The feather analogy seemed to drag on a little bit but came together with the later ...

Wow, interesting piece, I know little about lyrical poetry I must say but there was something about this that had me spell-bound. The first few lines seemed to lead nicely ...

Well done, an enjoyable piece. Great characters and narrative. A wee bit confusing at the beggining and still not entirely sure what was happening, perhaps I should have began with ...

Very interesting piece. Quite a frantic style but well suited to the plot. Character is convincing and round. A very unique idea, usually considered taboo but you handled it very ...

fantastic feed back. The problems with the tense are common in everything I write. Alot of words and expressions are used only in New Zealand and perhaps don't make sense ...

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Wow, I noticed you critiqued my work so it is only fair I do the same. However, there isn't much else that can be said here, I think it has ...

This is the first chapter for a Novella I am working on, please critique. One Christopher was a normal boy with a normal life. His parents were always smiling, he ...