joshuapaul

Ah k, let's go. Fate dragged a long, blackened talon through the throbbing organ in James’ chest. Not a bad start. I think you could use pronouns for this entire ...

Hi there, I think some of the other reviewers were harsh and unfair. I think within these 150 words lies a great little tale. It plays out with a bit ...

This is great. I did enjoy it, but in a way I couldn't extract much of a story. I know at its core there is a story, but for me ...

Wow nice work, Leeeeet's go! Fresh tears run down her face, burning her cheeks before disappearing into the night air. Her hands are shaking, and his are bloody. Desperately, She ...

Wow, this is great. Its perfectly executed, plotted. The dialogue flows and seems realistic. I think the only real gripe I have with this was the approach you took to ...

Let's begin, Shall we? Once when I was seven years old, I was lashed for breaking my mother’s porcelain teapot. Not a great start. Don't ever start a story with ...

Ha. This is clever, very clever. You have taken a very cliche act - when dealing with this theme anyway! - any you have made it unique and funny. You ...

Wow, this must have slipped through. I was reading entries as they came in, and obviously now again as the judging begins. But the first time around I must have ...

I like this. I think you have captured the feeling, the scrutiny well. I think the other reviewers have covered all the minor stuff, and you must have amended the ...

This is amazing. I promised to critique every piece, but Sarg has been here already and it seems everyone has covered it all. I will say though, that your handling ...

I will be brief. This is great fantastic story telling, don't get me wrong. But a story doesn't really exist here. It's more of a scene than a story, while ...

Okay, let's go. I will critique the spoiler too. I like the title, but I'm not sure if you have utilised this handy little aspect fully. I mean you don't ...

One thing I have noticed judging this competition is that most YWSer's are better suited to extended prose. As soon as you put word limit in, people can't seem to ...

I like you confetti. And, like a friend, I think I can be completely honest with you. With that in mind I will do away with the sugar coating, I ...

Death of an Angel The title is perhaps the most important part of a story this short. It provides a premise, and by the end it should tie back in. ...