joshuapaul

I blinked sleepily. Too weak to start a chapter, scrap it and start with the next line. Coming out of collecting was like sleeping for one day straight , even ...

The birds’ morning song woke him, but his eyes remained closed. Any minute now the Pull would drag him to his feet he would be off again, wandering the earth ...

Wow. Very Orwellian. This is quite outstanding. I think I might go back and read the rest. Now for the bad stuff. You need to break up the paragraphs, as ...

Yeah, this is not my strongest chapter so I would really appreciate reviews. Madison My lips still tingled from that kiss last night. I got out of bed in a ...

Okay, so I read to the start of Rose and stopped because - it doesn't matter who wrote it and how good it is - I can't start a novel ...

Cliches, avoid them. This is good I haven't read the other chapters but you need to take care with your phrasing because it isn't unique, in general. The moment we ...

Roscrow had watched his men move the eggs one by one back to the tavern. They placed them with infinite care into a large, padded basket. With much effort, We ...

Okay I will be honest, I only read chapter 6. 1) It's too long and too far through for me to really understand the intricacies of the story itself. 2) ...

Hello and welcome

Can I say, briefly, that as an argument you succeed. As a general article you seem to fail. I say this because you present one side, you charge your writing ...

lovely.

Okay, so here I am, as requested. I must say, I am glad I made it. So I will look at this the way I look at published work, I ...

The ocean breaths salty, won't you carry it in? Modest Mouse fan I see? I prefer the original.

I am a little reluctant to review this. You have had plenty of solid critiques from decent reviewers but you have only edited once? and it seems you haven't taken ...

Wha-? You're only 15 and you have a laptop? Jealous. Okay so there are a lot of things that need to be reworked here. For the most part the story ...